Nothing will motivate a man to move forward faster than knowing what's behind Him.

November 14, 2013

I was shopping at one of my favorite tools stores.  I had some coupons for some moving blankets and decided to get a couple.  I use them to lay on when I’m working on the car.   One time at the park we used one to lay on the ground.   We ordered pizza and watched the crowd.  Yes we were in our own little world.   One couple walked by and the woman chunked him in the side and asked him “why don’t we ever do stuff like that”. 

A few weeks later I was leaving a town meeting when I noticed a few homeless people and remembered what the TV preacher said about helping someone.  I pulled over and gave him one of the blankets. then another one showed up and I gave him one also.    The preacher was right, it felt pretty good.  I think I’ll get a few more next week.    It really took my mind off those idiots at the town meeting.

  I then started thinking about more of  the times, the times I had with her.   We went on a weekend excursion at a nice motel.   when the next morning came we didn’t remember what happened nor could me imagine what happened, even with the evidence right in front of us, we could not believe what it implied actually took place.   We did everything we could to remove everything, clean everything that implied such a thing took place.  Every time we saw a show about forensics, CSI, NCSI we questioned if we left anything behind.     It all ended when we set up a video camera.   We had forgotten about it until about 2 months had passed.  We were watching SVU and remembered that we hadn’t watched the video.   We pulled it out, set it up and watched and watched…..and….watched.   Have you ever watched something you didn’t want to look at but you could not take your eyes off it?

What he  (I say he because it may have looked like me but it wasn’t me) was doing to her should never be done to anyone, sad part is that she seem to be enjoying it.   As she was watching, she seem to be getting mad at me.  But in the video, when it was all done, She was thanking me with a big old smile on her face.  Oh, and she had something for me also.  It wasn’t pretty either.  That’s all I’m going to say about the video accept that we not only destroyed the video but also the camera.   We never par-took in any alcohol or anything else after that.   Not to call any names, but I remember certain family members who drank and actually became a different person, and yes they claimed that they could not remember what they had done.   Up until then, I thought they were lying.   Alcohol and any other mind altering substance should never be sold.

The next week I went to my favorite tool store to redeem some coupons that I got from the Sunday paper.   I bought 10 of those blankets.  had to make two trips into the store as there were a limit on each coupon.  

I went to the same area as before and handed out several blankets, then I saw a young lady with a little girl.  I asked her what was she doing out here.  She said the best that I can.    It was apparent that she was homeless.   I didn’t know what to say or think.   I asked her if she would like to have a blanket.   She replied  “what am I going to do with a blanket I don’t have a bed to put it on”.   This is way over my head and I can’t to this day believe what I said.   I said “I have a bed”.  wow.   Have you ever said something and wished you could just reach out and grab it and put it back in your mouth.    well it don’t work like that.   She looked at me and held the little girl close and took a few steps back.   I had an idea of what she may have been thinking but I could only say “I have a bed you can sleep in” even that didn’t come out right.   She turn and walked away in a hurry.    Didn’t even take the blanket.    I handed out a few more blankets and headed home.

  On my way home I was thinking about one of the times I returned home from fishing.   I had several nice size Brim in a bucket, all about the size of your hand.   I set them outside on the porch to clean later.   She just had to see them, she wanted to see what real fish (as she call it) looked like.   she leaned over and look in the bucket and just as she did one fish decided to greet her.   It started flapping up and down, she screamed and it was apparent that the fish scared the living daylights out of her.   She claimed that the fish splashed the water down her leg and she never wavered from that premise.  I’m home, hope I didn’t run any stop signs or red lights because I remember nothing.   

The next morning, I was thinking about the young homeless lady with the child.  Why wasn’t she in a women’s shelter.  I looked up women’s shelters in the area and contacted a few of them.  A lady at one of the the shelters told me that some women don’t trust the shelters and would rather take their chances on the street.

I had to return a jump starter to my favorite tool store.  I went ahead and picked up a few more (Limit 6 per coupon)  blankets.   one curious thing happened while at the store.  I decided to get a few casters for a project I am working on.   I asked the clerk if one of the casters qualified for  the 25% off coupon.  She said yes.   When she rung it up, it appeared to have  taken 25% off the returned item, which nullified the deduction all together.   I called her on it and she ended up deducting more than the 25%.    From now on, I will be conducting all my return transaction separately, then come back in and do my shopping.   It seems that it can get complicated for those clerks.     Anyway I got it all straightened out and all was well.  

I was also told many times that if you keep busy, it would help you.   Some how it is suppose to keep you from becoming overwhelmed with grief.   Seems like it only puts it off until later.    Do I really want to get through the grief?  Do I really want to get back to a normal life?  How can things be normal without her here with me?

Went to the lumber store to pick up some supplies to start my new project.   As I headed down to the lumber isle an “Associate” asked if he could help me.   I said that I needed to pick up 10 2x4x8’s.  Then he asked me “are you ready for this” what size did I need?   I then informed he that in answer to his question, no sir you can’t help me.   Where do they find these people?  What qualifications are required to work at a home improvement store.   Surely common sense is one of them.  But then, some people will look and act stupid because they really don’t want to help you  “for what ever reason”. 

Nails check,  2×4’s check, OSB check, shingles check, nuts, washers, bolts for the casters check, hinges check, pull handle check, hasp check, and now to the checkout. 

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